You’d be lying if you told me you didn’t love food. So let me be the first to tell you that I love food. How much do I love food? Well so much that I am in a group known as Fatties Anonymous.
I do realize now I am no longer in anonymity but its all good. Being a Fatty doesn't mean you are fat, it just means you love to eat.
I like most foods, However there are select foods that am very fond of. Such foods help me many ways. Sure, with taste but sometimes with girls. Yes girls.. actually people in general too! Would I rather hang out with X or eat this food or Eat this food with X? If I ever share these foods with you.. that means we are good friends.
You see these foods help me make decisions with money as well. One pay check could be 250 dollars to some, but sometimes to me its 50+ plates of a certain food. Let me just state that I eat really really really fast. Maybe I was eager to get to my room and hide from the horrors of my childhood or maybe I just didn’t like talking while I ate. It’s part of my slogan as the fastest in the land, I do everything fast… well mostly everything. You are about to go on a Journey of my favorite foods and their stories. And Please.. share your favorites and stories as well.
5. Anger foods – One day some shit went down. Needless to say I was really pissed but I had already made plans to go to Jalepenos, a Mexican Food Place, with my friends. Not wanting to talk about anything I decided the best way to accomplish silence was to always have something in my mouth. Like Dominoes , in 30 minutes or less I chomped through 2 large chicken burritos and then ventured over to dairy queen for a large butterscotch dipped cone. Ever since that day my friends think I’m mad whenever I eat a lot. But the truth is that it was just a bad decision in coping with my fury. I don’t even like Jalepenos, or butterscotch… what was I thinking?
4. Fascination Foods – to be honest I go through cycles where I become truly entranced by foods. Let's look at the clock.
-One time I made a chocolate instant puddin’package. With all the intentions of sharing it with my brother and mom. I ended up eating the whole container while watching Rome Is Burning.
I do realize now I am no longer in anonymity but its all good. Being a Fatty doesn't mean you are fat, it just means you love to eat.
I like most foods, However there are select foods that am very fond of. Such foods help me many ways. Sure, with taste but sometimes with girls. Yes girls.. actually people in general too! Would I rather hang out with X or eat this food or Eat this food with X? If I ever share these foods with you.. that means we are good friends.
You see these foods help me make decisions with money as well. One pay check could be 250 dollars to some, but sometimes to me its 50+ plates of a certain food. Let me just state that I eat really really really fast. Maybe I was eager to get to my room and hide from the horrors of my childhood or maybe I just didn’t like talking while I ate. It’s part of my slogan as the fastest in the land, I do everything fast… well mostly everything. You are about to go on a Journey of my favorite foods and their stories. And Please.. share your favorites and stories as well.
5. Anger foods – One day some shit went down. Needless to say I was really pissed but I had already made plans to go to Jalepenos, a Mexican Food Place, with my friends. Not wanting to talk about anything I decided the best way to accomplish silence was to always have something in my mouth. Like Dominoes , in 30 minutes or less I chomped through 2 large chicken burritos and then ventured over to dairy queen for a large butterscotch dipped cone. Ever since that day my friends think I’m mad whenever I eat a lot. But the truth is that it was just a bad decision in coping with my fury. I don’t even like Jalepenos, or butterscotch… what was I thinking?
4. Fascination Foods – to be honest I go through cycles where I become truly entranced by foods. Let's look at the clock.
-One time I made a chocolate instant puddin’package. With all the intentions of sharing it with my brother and mom. I ended up eating the whole container while watching Rome Is Burning.
Cuz the jello taste soo good.
-Lets see there was a time period where I would stay up late and arrive home in the wee hours of the morning... at this time I would always make eggs. All sorts of ways I was truly mesmerized by eggs. Not so fast Incredible Egg....My egg thunder was soon broken in a messy separation when I found about all the cholesterol.
- There was a time I really wanted breakfast foods, like pancakes and french toast. We had just arrived back in Diego from Los Angeles. We went to an IHOP which was supposed to be 24 hours. It wasn’t… I was pissed and wanted my effin pancakes. I had to wait 2 days before my friends and I went out to Studio Diner down in kearny mesa. I ordered blueberry pancakes 3 fat ones, and then a grip load of french toast. It was a good deal economically, no worries. However, caught up in the lust and the peer pressure I ate all of them that night. I was too far in the zone, or too far out of Barry Sears Zone to think of getting a box to take them home in. Not mention mid-pancake I was handed some of my friends french toast that they couldn’t finish. Ya I'm not fat. Really
- Whats the current fascination? Probably pasta salads.. or.Greek food -Gyros.. and Humus. The word Chickpea gets me excited...mentally
3. Pineapple/ Juice –
This should actually be number one but to be honest I’m the only person who would consider a pineapple a meal. If you place pineapple in front of me I will eat it until I see no more. I’m not a big fan of candy cuz of all the sugar. But I think the fructose thing is something else. Because after my love affair with pineapple I started getting crazy for juices. I mixed pineapple juice with apple juice and called it Pine-apple and after that moment I had to try every fruit juice. Soon enough I became obsessed with most tropical drinks starting with pineapple and shortly followed by guava juice.
Gimme that Juice
2. Spaghetti – I’ve made reference to Spaghetti before. I just wanna put it out there that some spaghetti is booshie. But if it’s maderight, its heaven. Cheese, sauce,spices, meat balls I guess it’s the texture of the food too. How you have to eat noodles. So hard to pick up but if you work hard enough.. oh yea.. you’ll get it.
Where's my madness
If you have ever seen Hancock.. there is a scene where the family has Spaghetti Madness night. Well I’ve had spaghetti madness nights before that movie so it was an instant connection. How much spaghetti can I eat? Lets have a spaghetti madness day.. maybe ill go for 5ths. It’s a sacrifice to my body I will make. If I had to chose between girls and spaghetti… I dunno. There have been times in my life when I would really chose the Madness.
1. Orange Chicken – The ultimate meal. Orange
Chicken specifically from Panda Express. But Trader Joe’s has good stuff too. And if you have mastered the power of sauces you could well be in the Streets of my love. You see I have never gotten bored of this masterful bird. And hardly ever do I pick any other choice when I go to panda.
Knock Out.
The OC and me are tyte. And if you ever tried to take my Orange chicken I might sock you in the face… girl or guy actually If you were a girl I might just stank eye you. But stank eye you to
As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized the value of money and the stupidity of birthdays. So all I ask for my birthday is for orange chicken. Not to be taken to a fancy restaurant because you know that food is just high priced spiced shit compared the savory glorious OC to me. Yes I love orange chicken. Yes.. I do Just like Kel Loves Orange Soda..
I do I do I do oooo
On a side note, the football season is starting! Be excited. I'm puttin this out there now, Chad and The Cincinnati Bengals will make the playoffs. And Go Chargers, and Eagles! and Larry Fitz.
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haha see you next time , on... THA EXPRESS
" Out of touch , Out of Tune, Butterknife, Teaspoon"
-ThaTKy
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