Self-absorbed It may be, but I have done a lot of crazy/ unbelievable/ random things in my life. So I will make my own personal top 5 moments of my existence over the last couple years. I’ve done a lot of worthy things From Crazy basketball shots to having 2 dates at Prom. The spectrum is wide and a lot of my moments are still in my head.They are Calculated plans... not to mention FULLPROOF plans. Only now have I started a document where I write down every single moment in my life. For if It is true that I can really die, I will live on in the thoughts of others.. as a legend. Everyone will know who That Guy is. The Legend of T.K.y.
#5 Devious Plan: Liminate SAT2. It was Senior year, and I was fed up with the school system. Finally I had seen the truth in the administration of all education platforms. So much of life seems to be based on this stupid test, a number out of 2400… I wasn’t feelin that. You see with me its all about individuality. And if you told me my 1980 wasn’t as good as someone’s 2350 I would beg to differ. Because I deserved to be in the best college available, I deserved to have opportunity. So what better way to make people compare on basis of talent/ not score than to even the playing field?
Let the plan begin.
But first a distraction was needed. In the school quad, some miles away sat a mountain. The perfect place for a catapult. You see my plan was unstoppable, I would fill this catapult with a couple hundred bags of shit... (that is not a typo) Sling them to the quad. Wait there was more. Before the launch I would organize 2 staged fights, you know the brawls that cause the whole school to riot. As the fake riots are raging, the catapult is released, but not before each bag of shit is lit on fire. An all out Armageddon perfectly placed along the circle of cement surrounding the quad… Complete Chaos? No I’ll call it an Orchestrated Fiasco or the greatest distraction ever. The only distraction that would allow me and the crew to sneak into the counselors’ offices and change everyone’s files and grades…. Yea .. ride off into the sunset.
#5 Devious Plan: Liminate SAT2. It was Senior year, and I was fed up with the school system. Finally I had seen the truth in the administration of all education platforms. So much of life seems to be based on this stupid test, a number out of 2400… I wasn’t feelin that. You see with me its all about individuality. And if you told me my 1980 wasn’t as good as someone’s 2350 I would beg to differ. Because I deserved to be in the best college available, I deserved to have opportunity. So what better way to make people compare on basis of talent/ not score than to even the playing field?
Let the plan begin.
But first a distraction was needed. In the school quad, some miles away sat a mountain. The perfect place for a catapult. You see my plan was unstoppable, I would fill this catapult with a couple hundred bags of shit... (that is not a typo) Sling them to the quad. Wait there was more. Before the launch I would organize 2 staged fights, you know the brawls that cause the whole school to riot. As the fake riots are raging, the catapult is released, but not before each bag of shit is lit on fire. An all out Armageddon perfectly placed along the circle of cement surrounding the quad… Complete Chaos? No I’ll call it an Orchestrated Fiasco or the greatest distraction ever. The only distraction that would allow me and the crew to sneak into the counselors’ offices and change everyone’s files and grades…. Yea .. ride off into the sunset.
Best Seller
Result… A couple friends talked me out of it and regrettably I decided to follow the status quo of graduating high school.
#4 Forever Piglets: I’m on the quest to be heard, I’m not sure if its fame I want cuz once I got famous I would love to ignore everyone for liking me just because of my status. But I always find my self with plans to get famous and then some. One time I made a trip to L.A. with my friend just to find Hayden Panettierre. During the Disneyland parade Ariel blew me a kiss and gave me the eye… needless to say Ariel ended my relationship at the time because the GF got jealous. But that was then, and this is another then..
The Target: Miley Cyrus.
There was hope.. or maybe there was just TK
You see through all the hype and scandal. I felt this youngin was just misunderstood. But just as the world turns, Misunderstood people turn into monsters. It was my mission to find this girl and stop a tragedy because we didn’t need another Ho in this world. But of course if I just walked up to her door I would be turned away by security. So I would need a way to appeal to her or just trample the guards.
There are miniature pigs that stay piglets forever, thus named Forever piglets. Regardless of Miley it would be awesome to have one of these… or a couple hundred.
Did I mention there is a song?
You get new toys people get jealous, so to prevent harm to these piglets I would have suits of armor constructed for each of them. Yes a swarm of piglets in armor. Like a wave of mercury, I would surf on top as my piglet army took me through the hills of Hollywood all the way to Miley’s house. Persuade Billy Ray to let me stay the night and play board games and talk all night.And save the world from another Lindsey Lohan
Result: I soon realized there must be a better way to get famous. And the piglets are still an option… oh yeah.
#3 Making The Band 5: I’ve made my share of videos. Some make it to Youtube, some never make the cut past the editing board… And some are never released because of sheer embarrassment. This was one of those events. I’m a huge fan of Making The Band Season 4. The one with Day 26. So I decided it would be cool to film my own. Start my own band… only problem is the people I had to work with were my main group of friends. The Characters listen up like this
Result: I soon realized there must be a better way to get famous. And the piglets are still an option… oh yeah.
#3 Making The Band 5: I’ve made my share of videos. Some make it to Youtube, some never make the cut past the editing board… And some are never released because of sheer embarrassment. This was one of those events. I’m a huge fan of Making The Band Season 4. The one with Day 26. So I decided it would be cool to film my own. Start my own band… only problem is the people I had to work with were my main group of friends. The Characters listen up like this
TK- as TK
Demetrius as himself
The Salo – Naje
Glen – Dr. Love
Wang – Wanga Kong ( Diddy)
Amy, Erin, and Vlad Hunter.
I would have never thought I would have orchestrated such a production. It started off well. Funny episodes everyone was into it. But then just like all actors not under contract.. it went out of control. Everyone had his or her own ideas and own spin. Everyone wanted their face time. Needless to say the episodes ended when TK went solo and split from the band. I have the tape in my room… forever hidden from the world.
#2 The Persuader:
I can never make my dreams come true without help, So over time I have mastered the art of trickery and persuasion. I’ve cut my friend Glen’s hair without him knowing, simply because his mullet was out of control. I once got nose goes’d into renting a movie… I created the illusion that I went to the store and it was sold out when really I just walked around the house.. although I did fall through a dirt hole outside in the process… and I’m this close away from getting the worlds first game of Human Jenga going. There are many more events in which I made some sort of declaration in my head and made it come true. But this one was worthy of number 2.
The Ultimate hoodwink.
We spent the day at 6 flags over some break during senior year of high school. We stayed the night in the area and we were going to leave in the morning/ afternoon. After a night of sleeping on the floor.. or not sleeping because fear of being farted on and losing my life like past friends have lost theirs before… I decided that we should just go home without stopping for an expensive lunch. It was around the time of a certain steak pizza ad that was provided by dominoes. I persuaded my car of 3 other guys to fast and order a pizza when we arrived home. The proposal? It will taste better because we will be fasting. We will crave the taste, it will be the best pizza you have ever tasted. Well with pull-strings pulled and delusion curtains covering the truth I was well on my way home.
There I was , A Jesus allegory Kylan leading his disciples on a pilgrimage to the land of Milk and honey. Similar to that Jesus Allegory Lion in Narnia, I was Azlan… but I was not in Narnia I was on an endless freeway going south. We fasted the whole day. We arrived home at 5 maybe 6 ish. And ordered that pizza, Severely disappointed were the crew when they had found out they were duped. I found out a couple things that day… I could persuade anyone to to anything if I wanted. And.. Dominoes pizza is so bad that its not even good after a fast.
#1The Catch: Believe it or not. I used to play baseball. Little League of course. But when I played as a youngster I wasn’t fast or athletic and I soon transitioned over to the sport of basketball where I discovered my hidden talent of being a defensive terror. I had unleashed a reckless abandon with a touch of ballet dancer’s grace. I knew I had a gift.
One Summer about 2 years ago I decided to go back to baseball. It was me, Demetrius Jamz, Glen, The Salo, and Mr. Scote. We decided to play some baseball… back to my childhood there stood TK in Centerfield. Name of the game? Homerun Derby. “ I hit Jacks, Son!” actually.. I only hit about 4, and was ousted in the Quarterfinals. So I was to Shag balls and play defense all day.
Glen at the bat…hits a shot to dead center. Clearly a home run. Playing rather shallow I acted on instinct.. As the ball sailed over my head I tossed my glove straight into the air. I hit the ball to take it off homerun course. However still sailing well toward the wall I ran straight back the fence. The ball careened and hit the top on the fence bouncing back into the field. Still in full sprint and not to the wall yet, I decided to make history. I dove toward the ball. Not some wimpy slide, a full on horizontal to the ground, head first, arms out - dive. In mid air. I caught the ball and hit the ground.
#1The Catch: Believe it or not. I used to play baseball. Little League of course. But when I played as a youngster I wasn’t fast or athletic and I soon transitioned over to the sport of basketball where I discovered my hidden talent of being a defensive terror. I had unleashed a reckless abandon with a touch of ballet dancer’s grace. I knew I had a gift.
One Summer about 2 years ago I decided to go back to baseball. It was me, Demetrius Jamz, Glen, The Salo, and Mr. Scote. We decided to play some baseball… back to my childhood there stood TK in Centerfield. Name of the game? Homerun Derby. “ I hit Jacks, Son!” actually.. I only hit about 4, and was ousted in the Quarterfinals. So I was to Shag balls and play defense all day.
Glen at the bat…hits a shot to dead center. Clearly a home run. Playing rather shallow I acted on instinct.. As the ball sailed over my head I tossed my glove straight into the air. I hit the ball to take it off homerun course. However still sailing well toward the wall I ran straight back the fence. The ball careened and hit the top on the fence bouncing back into the field. Still in full sprint and not to the wall yet, I decided to make history. I dove toward the ball. Not some wimpy slide, a full on horizontal to the ground, head first, arms out - dive. In mid air. I caught the ball and hit the ground.
but cooler.
Wind knocked out I heard screams, I got up and turned around to see the whole lot of the competition running at me. Raising the roof and screaming I had just made the greatest catch you may ever see. And I have 4 witnesses… I am the greatest.
There you have it, a whole side you may or may have not seen of me. The scary part is there are too many stories to tell. Which will lead me into coming events this weekend.
ImOnTKTV will broadcast interviews(finally) with a segment called Moments In TK History - Where I discuss moments of my life with the interviewer. This weekend up to bat is Glen. We will be talking football, TK, and go on a little challenge Relating to the discussed topics. The video should be up by Sunday.
-ThaTKy
There you have it, a whole side you may or may have not seen of me. The scary part is there are too many stories to tell. Which will lead me into coming events this weekend.
ImOnTKTV will broadcast interviews(finally) with a segment called Moments In TK History - Where I discuss moments of my life with the interviewer. This weekend up to bat is Glen. We will be talking football, TK, and go on a little challenge Relating to the discussed topics. The video should be up by Sunday.
" And He Is Out Of This World"
-ThaTKy
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