I haven't put anything up for a while, and I haven't thought twice about it until now. When my friends asked me "why haven't I?" It's been evident to me that it feels strange to write about myself, but at the same time I realized I need to. Immediately I thought about two things: Voice recording and dying, not entirely sure why, but I did. Voice recording because I feel It would be so much more effective if I could read this as a speech. And Dying because if that were to happen what would I have left behind? I have this idea that all cameras shy away from me, but all eyes look. So really all I have left when i'm gone is anything I write or anything you can remember.
It's really been a whirlwind lately. I'm not longer in a relationship and while that was pretty awful for me at the same time I think that's a good thing. I had a birthday and for the first time in a while I actually celebrated it, I think that was a good thing. I have a new job now as a player development specialist for basketball, that is also a good thing. I do a lot of GOOD THINGS now, so When I write today I'm going to talk about those things.
The
So for a while I was mad, questionable, slightly deranged in the eyes of others you could say. But then I realized maybe this was supposed to happen. So I moved on...
Some OK friends into some really good friends and started see that this wasn't so bad after all.
I started focusing on my job, at which I only volunteered, and my hard work turned into a trip to Vegas to meet a bunch of NCAA Div. I coaches. . I work with basketball players of all levels, 5th grade boys,and 8th grade/ high school girls and guys. Coincidentally, one of the girls I coach is named the same name as my girlfriend's, she's a baller to say the least. But i had a good laugh when I figured her name... I guess they aren't all bad.
It's funny cuz I thought the break up was the end of the world, and I wasn't going to focus on school or anything. But I did. Just being real, I forgot how skilled I am. Busted out my grades, Keepin my cumulative 3.89 GPA intact.
The people around me showed me a few things, they got my confidence back up. Some through straight conversation and wholeheartedness . And one specific friend through working my ass off getting into the next level of athleticism. I began to realize that I wasn't missing out on anyone, they were most likely missing out on me. For the sake of their stress levels, i hope they never realize what I had realized , whether its true or not.
With my new workout plan and extreme change in circumstances my views became clearer. I thought about one time I ran around Lake Miramar. I sprinted to the 2.5 miles and then died out. I had no pace, what was I running from? Why couldn't I slow down? The more I thought about it. I wasn't running FROM, I was running TO.
Or maybe I just like being really fast..
So after I finally celebrated my birthday, I started to see that a life is just an opportunity that people tend to lose. They don't have enough fun, they don't impact anyone, and they get caught up in what they are supposed to do instead of what they are going to do. Society tells me i'm supposed to graduate in 4 years, i'm supposed to take the most lucrative job, I'm supposed feel the pressure of the world. But I don't really care. Cuz I'm running to my own destination...
This is what I'm Going to do:
In whatever I do, It is my goal to do one of 2 things. Polarize you so you really like me and learn something, or hate me because you are too damn stubborn to feel good. I want to be accountable for my actions and be someone who does a whole heck of a lot with out saying a lot of anything.
So that's where I am right now. I'm a little different than before, or maybe I'm exactly the same. But before I die, imma make sure you feel me... Imma make sure you remember me for the right reasons.
"When you blame others for your problems, you put the power to change things completely in Their hands" - Ricky Williams
Have a good Summer
-ThaTKy
T.K.O.
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