TK's Top 3

Whats up Everybody. It's Summertime and things are going well... actually were going well Until my stupid built in mouse pad on the laptop has forced me to rewrite this whole thing for the third time... ahh. Ok Today on The Express I'll run you through My Top 3 Things That absolutely bug me.
I just watched the movie Bedtime Stories with Adam Sander, so I will present this Express in story form.

Bugsy!

The Tale of RumplestiltsKy

Long ago, all the way back to 5/22 A.D. ( Already Done, cuz that is what my day was). It was the morning.. and I was awoken by a soft vibrating sound at the side of my bed. It was a phone call from The Salo. Now you see I never get phone calls from my friends before I wake up, because they always sleep longer than me, So I figured it was something important.... and It wasn't. He just wanted to know what was going on.
" I'm Sleeping, man. What time is it?" I said. You see I thought it was 6 am or some wee hour of the morning. Boy was I wrong..

He replied," Sleeping? Ky it's 1:30pm. Are you serious right now?"

....1:30....
ONE THIRTY!..
apparently I was serious because it was ONEHUNDRENDAND(EXPLITIVE)THIRTY!!!

The phone was shut down, as I sat there and looked at the clock... The Salo tells no lies. It was 1:30. And I was pissed. Furious. It was strange, I was in an odd state of mind... a Dr. Mixologist concoction of Anger, which I displaced on my alarm clock, and Shock... shock because I felt like I had been tranquilized and just awoken in a far off land known as Myroom

The Moral Of This Story: I hate, HATE, Sleeping in. I wasted my life. I tried to blame it on my alarm clock for not being loud enough, but the truth is that it is just a machine... I am a Kylan. I am to blame. Which is why i stay furious the rest of the day... Gosh, I am never going to sleep again... EVER.

The Legend of the Kissy-Face Photos

There have been tales of sought out items, such as the Fountain of Youth or The Hand of Midas? There have been legends of people trying to have magic powers, Could Alchemist really turn milk into gold? Is there really a Shast? My fables end here and I will now present the truth. There is a magical device known as the Camera, which is able to freeze time forever. With this frozen time people can have memories and keepsakes.
Now you see magic is cool and all, and everyone likes it ya? Well get this, the magic value of a bunny being pulled out of a hat is technically the same as a moldy loaf of bread being pulled out of a shoe. As is the value between handkerchiefs being pulled out of a assistants sleeve and a small intestine out of their pant leg... Or is it?

Surprise

Truth is magic alone does not control the outcome. It is the responsibility of the magician who controls the power of the trick the proper use of the equipment if you will. Which is why I don't understand and have to ask WHY? Do people *mostly Girls* do the kissy face in 70% of photos... You kno the one where they kiss the air and look off to the side.... Hello!? ( Hi TK), The camera is this way! Let me tell you what I understand, I understand taking silly pictures... but only some. and if you are going to take silly pictures mix it up a little bit. What I don't understand is why people insist on repeating this face... It haunts me... absolutely. Don't get me wrong, i realize that not everyone is guilty of this TK sin, but still it makes no sense to me why most girls do it, ESPECIALLY when the stereotypical girl will say they hate they way they look in all of their pictures. As you can see by my disgust...
The Moral of This Story Is: Ky don't like the kissy face.


The Tale of The Silent Shuttle Rider

When I was traveling the colleges, I attended UCSD for 2 years. A school so big it needed a shuttle service, although it was walkable if you weren't lazy. Everyday there seemed magical, but not the kind of magic from I was talking about before.. no not nearly as grotesque. A magic that was eerie, kind of like The Wiz ( A musical about The wizard of OZ, featuring Micheal Jackson). You see at UCSD, there were talking trees, Singing trees, Gnomes watching television, an underground sewer world, and a magician a professor with handlebar mustaches that always disappeared into the crowd between classes. And a part from a young girl named Sarah, the land was struck by a spell where no one would talk to me. No even a simple hello.

Not a bad movie actually

This spell plagued the campus from day to day. Who wouldn't want to talk to TK? I guess the whole school would be the answer to that. Anyway every morning on the shuttle I would say hello, and ask people if they wanted to sit by me. just being polite ( Oh hey, you can sit here if you want) But no, every socially timid person wanted to sit in their own row of the shuttle... Bitches.. Excuse me ha.
So my 2 years there happened to end on the greatest note of them all...
It was the last day of school. and I got on the shuttle that last time. Today it was full No seats available except for the one next to me.. people were standing in the aisle way of the shuttle where a girl stood next to where i was sitting carring a coffee(no lid) and a sandwich. I said " Hey, You want to sit down?"

She just looked at me.. and didn't say a word... like a was some elephant in the room. or shuttle this day. I said " Aight then..." And gave her a Chauncey Billups Smile.

After a some what easy ride The Shuttle( driven by students) picked up speed and came to an abrupt stop...uh oh.. Maybe you should have sat down with me girl, because you just fell on your booty and spilled youcoffee on your shirt. I actually saw the whole thing. I didn't laugh though, at least on the outside. She got up and sat down next to me... and I just looked at her and said.. " Oh did you wanna sit down?, I'm sorry for not asking you first"

Moral Of the Story: I hate people who don't talk. Not even a simple hello... and I did laugh out loud.. once I got off the shuttle.

"And TK lived Happily Ever After"

Questions? Suggestions? Want a Shout out? Autographs? Need a Second date? Send Me a message I'll Get back to you Ha Just kiddin bout the last 2

-ThaTKy